Title: Just Like the Queen
Fandom/Genre: SG1 AU
Content Rating: Gen
Word Count: 1653
A/N: Written as a surprise birthday story for my friend and beta annejackdanny, hence the ending. Links to Anne’s other Jack’s and Daniel’s are embedded in the fic.
Summary: Little Danny has very clear ideas about what should be eaten at a birthday party.
“Wakey, wakey my little trouble magnet.” Jack nudged Daniel’s shoulder which was all that was discernable under the mound of bedclothes.
“Nngg,” Danny tried with all his might to open his eyes, but they absolutely refused to be budged.
“Oh Daaaaannnnniiieeeellll,” Jack tried again.
“Daaaadddyyy,” Daniel complained, “St’l ‘leepy.”
Jack shook his head and poked Daniel a little harder, this time aiming for the ticklish spot just above his belly button with his long index finger. He thought the sound the little boy made was just the most magical on this or any other planet.
“You have to get up, fercryinoutloud, after all, it is your birthday.
“My birfday is in the July not the December,” Danny giggled. “You are just too silly, Daddy Jack.”
“Well it just so happens you are a very special little boy and you have two birthdays.” Despite having all his memories erased by the Mjaron High Council and being reduced to the physical size of a three year old, there were still a few things Danny retained from his former life; one of these was his memory of his birth date. Jack in his wisdom had decided the date of his ‘Dinkyfying’ was worthy of a birthday – any excuse for a party and presents was reason enough for Jack.
Scrabbling up onto his knees ‘Dinky’ Daniel reached up and hugged his Daddy hard around the neck.
“Then I am bein’ like a Queen then, ain’t I, Jack?” His eyes were sparkling with excitement.
“I think you mean a King, buddy.” Jack grinned at his little boy’s gender mix-up. For a former linguist he certainly had a few problems with language in this new tiny body.
“No, like the Queen of Engerland.” Daniel retorted. “She has a weal birfday and a hoffishal birfday and they ride big horses and make normous bangs of cannons, actually.” He followed this pronouncement with a look of resignation at the low level of his Daddy Jack’s general knowledge.
“Ahhh. Okay.” Jack snorted, knowing that big Daniel could never have been so succinct. “Any whoo, I think you should get up and eat some breakfast so that we can get in that kitchen and make CAKE!”
“Hmmm.” Danny looked thoughtful, pressing his lips together and frowning. “I don’t want no cake, Daddy Jack. I wants a rabbit.”
“We can’t have pets, Danny.” Jack reiterated a well worn discussion between them. “It wouldn’t be fair because we are away from home so much. And anyway, you have to have cake. It’s the law. Every child should have cake on their birf…I mean birthday.”
The tot fell back on his bed laughing so hard that he held his little round belly to stop it from aching. Jack just looked bemused. “What’s tickled your funny bone, Mister Giggle-chops?”
“I dint mean a real rabbit, Daddy. I wants a bl…a bler…blermonge rabbit with the green Jell-O grass.”
Jack was stumped. He had no idea what ‘Dinky’ Doctor Jackson was talking about; he was totally clueless. He considered calling Carter or Janet but he thought they might be equally at sea about this one. Daniel just seemed to throw out things that threw them all for a total loop.
Seeing his father’s vacant expression Daniel decided to show him what he meant. Taking his clueless parent by the hand he slithered off the bed and pulling him into the kitchen proceeded to turn out the drawer containing baking pans. He had almost disappeared into it when, as Jack was contemplating an S & R mission, he jumped up holding a plastic mould of a rabbit. Jack had never seen it before and wondered if it had come from Daniel’s kitchen when they had closed down his little house and moved Danny in with him.
“You see, Daddy,” Daniel lectured, waving the bunny in Jack’s face, “I see’d this on the TV programme about childeren’s parties. You fills him with the blermonge and then you lets him set in the fridge and then you makes him some choppy up Jell-O grass to eat and then …and then…well we all gobbles him right up.” Daniel thought this was very funny and again was bent double in hysterics.
Jack loved to see him so light and carefree, just how a child should be, and when he was like this Jack could deny him nothing.
“Okay then, I get it: So we’ll make a blermonge rabbit and Jell-O grass. How hard can it be?” Then a thought crossed his mind. “Erm, Danny. What is blermonge anyway?
Two hours; a Google search; a trip to the grocery store; a quart of milk, half a box of cornstarch and nearly a full bottle of pink food colour later, a blancmange bunny lay setting in the fridge alongside a pan of the grassiest green Jell-O. It was all Jack could do to keep Daniel from peeping at it every five minutes. He was sure ‘Is it done yet?’ would soon rival ‘Are we there yet?’ as number one on his list of most hated Dinky questions.
To keep his little boy occupied Jack invented all kinds of games that were really ruses to get the house tidy for the guests he had invited. There was ‘Guess How Many Lego’s Can fit Into The Plastic Box’, which was a great success alongside ‘Toy Flight School’, which involved the launching of various stuffy’s into the toy box. That one was particularly popular with both generations of men in the O’Neill household – so much so that many of the toys made more than one sortie from the bedroom door to the toy chest.
Eventually it was time for The Great Un-Moulding. Danny had cut up the Jell-O with great precision using his own little toddler knife, and an oval of freshly cut gelatine grass was laid out on the platter. Jack dunked the mould into warm water as instructed by Google. Daniel was so excited he could barely breathe; his brilliant blue eyes as big as saucers. Jack was feeling a little anxious too, as he was sure the bunny was going to end up looking like it had the Touched virus; that was if it didn’t just flop into a milky pink splodge.
Using all of his Special Ops skills, Jack flicked the mould over to land right in the middle of the wobbly meadow. He looked over at Danny and raised his eyebrows in question. The little boy clapped his hands in glee and nodded. Carefully, and with great trepidation, Jack lifted the mould. And there, to his complete surprise, was a beautifully modelled pink rabbit; its long ears and cotton tail well defined in the pale pink pudding.
“Wow! Oh wow, oh wow, Daddy Jack, we dids it.” Daniel’s face was a picture of joy.
Jack shrugged nonchalantly, “Never doubted it. Together kiddo we are unbeatable.”
“He need’s some eyes tho’, else he won’t be able to see us having such a loverly party,” Danny suggested excitedly.
A quick search of the candy jar turned up a blue jelly bean, which Jack deftly cut in two and pushed gently into the pink gloop. A squirt of cream for his cottontail and Daniel thought he was the most marvellous ‘blermonge’ bunny anyone had ever seen.
But Jack hadn’t finished yet. He turned again to the kitchen cupboards and rooted about for a second or two. He returned to the counter, and their artistic creation, and proceeded to place some raisins on the Jell-O grass.
“Why is there raisins in the grass Daddy?” Danny asked uncertainly.
“Well,” Jack asked. “If Mr Cottontail here eats all his grass what do you think will happen?”
Danny thought hard and then gasped, clapping his hands to his mouth in glee. “He’ll poop…them raisins is bunny poop!” And the idea of his blermonge bunny pooping all over his Jell-O grass sent Daniel into the kind of laughing spat that only little boys can have at poop jokes.
Then it was a whirlwind of showers and cleaning up to be ready for their guests, who began to arrive right on time. Carter and Teal’c were first, then Janet and Cassie with George Hammond. Soon there were so many people in the room Daniel didn’t know who to go to first.
Then, suddenly, all the lights went out…
As the lights came back on again there was a loud shout;
S U R P R I S E ! ! !
“Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Anne
Happy Birthday to Yooooou!
“You see Anne; we play a tricks on you. It isn’t really my birfday cos mine really IS in the July but yours is TODAY. And we did make you a surprise birfday party and a blermonge bunny on the grassy Jell-O.” Dinky Danny and Daddy Jack waved at Anne and then looked around at the gathered group.
Sam, Janet, Cassie, George and Teal’c all sat together on the couch and grinned, toasting Anne with glasses of juice and champagne. Over by the open sliding doors ‘A Place to Heal’ Jack and Danny stood on the deck looking in. Horse neighed her congratulations from the lawn while LD fed her shiny red apples.
‘Reunion’ Danny was adding more and more poop to the rabbit, watched by his Daniel and Jack. In the kitchen where they thought no-one could see, SJD Jack and BD watched wistfully, their fingers barely intertwined, as ‘Paris’ Jack and Daniel shared a passionate kiss.
Then, as one, they all burst into a round of applause and cheers in celebration of their wonderful creator.
“Happy Birfday, Anne,” Danny giggled, his face glowing with joy. He blew Anne a big kiss before he and his Daddy Jack joined the others as they dug into the blermonge bunny and gobbled him all up.